Decided to try baking bacon, ala the cookingforengineers method of a very low (200F) slow oven, and couldn't see having the oven on for just that, so I threw in some unpeeled corn on the cob, potatoes, and an apple. All just about noon. Just had one of the ears of corn and it was very nice. Going to give it another fifteen and try a second one, because it could have been a bit hotter, but the taste was marvelous, and unlike corn in the microwave, I didn't burn myself trying to de-husk or de-string the cob. The potatoes are still hard and the apple is not quite soft enough yet...

But the corn, very nice after an hour and fifteen.

ETA: Corn even nicer after 2 and half hours, if you like it more soft than crunchy. I can see the low slow oven technique being useful in a big family gathering when you want to keep a lot of things warming in the oven and still have a few corners to spare.

Experimented with Welsh rabbit to go along with the experimental White Zinfandel I bought (I'm a teetotaller normally, but I'm researching a story.)

Okay. Forgot to buy porter when I got the Zinfandel, so I popped around to the little liquor store in the square. I asked for porter and the little Chinese lady behind the counter just blinked at me. "Beer," I expanded and she pointed me at the coolers with a very vague wave. There was something called itself porter, but they wanted me to buy the sixpack and that wasn't worth it. I ended up buying a can of Guinness, which is stout, but probably from the right islands, right?

Printed out the recipe from Alton Brown. Realized I forgot the cream, again, but I had a jar of English clotted cream I meant to use up months ago in the fridge. It's cream, right? And I didn't feel like going out again.

So, assemble ingredients. Dry mustard, got it. Worcestershire sauce -- just enough at the bottom of the bottle. Kosher salt, ditto. Pepper -- well, it ain't fresh ground, but it'll do. Butter. Toast. Get that ready first. Flour... pry flour out of freezer, which is icing over again dammit, and try to remember that I need to go to Sears and find out about a new gasket. Refrigerator is less than five years old, but the darn freezer just won't stay sealed. Butter -- yup. Measure things into cups like Alton does so I don't have to try to do it later. Shred cheddar. All set? Put the butter in the saucepan and start whisking in the... dammit I forgot to measure the flour.

Quickly get flour from bag and add to already melted and starting to turn brown butter. Whisk like a madwoman. 2 minutes and the stuff isn't going to turn brown yet? Alton are you mad? Wait, he's got it on medium heat and I'm remembering a different roux recipe. Too late, add the worcestershire salt and pepper and then the beer and turn down the heat while opening the clotted cream.

Clotted. My god, it isn't clotted, it's SOLID! A spatula won't do it, it takes a steak knife to start persuading this stuff out of the jar and into my dark brown mess. Turn the heat off entirely and keep persuading, stirring now and then to try to get the cream to melt. (Which it does, actually.) At this point there's no hope, so add the cheese anyway a bit at a time, stirring and stirring and well, it doesn't taste absolutely awful... oops, add the mustard and the hot... what hot sauce? Alton!!! Oh, there it is, right in the ingredients list. 2 drops. I must have hot sauce here somewhere, but for two drops, I'll be a wimp.

Cut up the toast on the plate and spoon... er... squidge the lumpy cheese stuff onto it. There's way too much for any human being to eat, so leave that to settle on the turned off burner. Fetch out little bitty bottle of White Zinfandel...

Eat. Drink.

Think.

Well, it's not actually awful... Might be a good combination when made by someone who knows what he's doing. Maybe.

And the remaining cheese sauce may be okay -- it got a lot less lumpy left to its own. i'll add a bit of milk to it and heat it up again later this week to try again.

But on the whole... well... maybe I should stick to frozen food.

So far my whatchyoumacallitstew is more like whatchyoumaycallit Glop. Anybody know if Garbonzos are good with beef and mushrooms?